When I woke up Saturday morning and saw the beautiful day, I got hit with a wave of nostalgia.
Something about me is that I fear change.
Within the past year, I have experienced new adventures, like going in a plane to New York City, to saying goodbyes, like to my Nonna’s apartment I would always stay at growing up.
No longer having that source of comfort in my life makes me think about all the things I may have taken for granted. It becomes part of a routine that one day disappears and you are left wondering what will fill that void and replace that feeling. That sense of belonging and home is what we are destined to find.
I decided to compile a list of some things I have had to let go of this past year and just have thought about lately. I do like to associate them with happy memories and be glad it happened, but it takes me a while to get over things. So, I consider this part of my healing.
- My Nonna’s apartment in Burnaby. I would stay overnight during summer days, a short walk away from Metrotown, and enjoy some fresh Italian Food. Something about the atmosphere made me feel so happy and not have a care in the world. 2013 is the year I associate this apartment with. Ariana Grande just released her new single, The Way, Starbucks fraps were the thing to get, and I was just a young almost 15 year old in love with music and had no care in the world. I was truly happy. The spring air and sunshine was something that I never thought would end. Until this summer. My Nonna could no longer take care of the apartment herself. On an early summer afternoon, I said my goodbyes on the balcony and went on my way. It is weird to associate feelings to places.
- This summer also brought a goodbye to our lake property. We got an offer too good to refuse and decided to sell the property I have been going to every summer since I was a young girl. It was a little piece of home hidden in beautiful B.C. that will now be remembered as a place I felt free and have the fondest memories on the lake.
- Camping with my friends from high school. This is something that will be rare to experience again, as we are all spread around Canada and can no longer be in the same place at the same time. I know one day we will all be in the same place and it will all free right again.
- Elementary School summer days. Walking to the bowling alley, water fights, friends living around the corner from me, popsicles, Dr. Pepper, so much.
These are some memories I have experienced in my 20 years of life so far. It is crazy how it all had to go so soon, but- it is leaving room for new adventures to take place. And I cannot wait.